Hello there , I m back here to my blog ! I stopped writing it because life suddenly became so busy and happiest that i forgot about writing. Recently my friends started their own blog . SO, i should also continue to start my blog. I started this blog during a High School student as a consequence of two reasons ,majorly :
1. I had no friends to share my thoughts, if i try;everyone starts avoiding me.
2. I m completely failed my exams.
Now, I m in College .I have very different life. I have some friends. I got a lot of responsibilities being a CR(Class Representative) and great stuff to enjoy. Perhaps due to open environment at College campus and also i had changed my behaviour a lot. A old friend who seen my school and college life told me that , I changed completely what have been in past. I m living like a dream days. But as always my credit to being a happiest person goes to being the saddest. I m learning bunch of new things. Previously, I have been away from real world and was only observing the world in the control where people try to break rules and regular decisions made by Elders.
But as i entered in the College life , i have faced many challenges . I did't faced relationship problems but i faced :
1. Financial Problem : Heavy college Fee and transport fee. As my family belongs to economically weaker section.Therefore, i m unable to bear educational expenses.I fought back very hard and got a scholarship from university, still i m not able to complete the expense. My parents took loan to do so.
However, the problem was also exist in School but i m dumb to understand the problem, until i failed in 11th grade annual exam, the problem i faced in school times is majorarily:
2. Relationship Problems : I m not very social. Not at all. I m shy because if ; I make a topic ,Immediately session changed to debate against me by everyone. And i was bullied and hit badly after school with group of students(Obviously, because no one want to be bad against teachers). Even ,by a little student whose best friends are strong him to support him. So, i rarely talk to anyone known. I talk only, when i need some Note Books and projects to copy. I m very much talky with new people, because they don't know my bad names to say. They don't knows my bad and how i was bullied.
I was a target for all students in class, even for friends , i love to share things. So, i packed my self close to no one. Even not to parents. Sometimes , i share the worst part to MOM, it feels great.But no every truth and detail. I fear, she might tell the dad and dad will hit me back. And probably come to school and will make this matter loud to class teachers. Where as teachers are already hitting me for not doing home works and assignments. And fed up of my fights with all class. I was the center peace for everyone. Even if didn't make mistake, my all class stoop up to make teacher that I m criminal to Save their gang leader. It doesn't mean, I never protested. I do, but i receive no Justice. My English class In charge was so straight forward that settled matters with votes with students. It was clean defeat actually, no one is stood up for me. My heart was broken many times. I think , it was my first meet with Indian Political System. But, i don't know, there is always the things that make hopes for me. That powers my brain. I didn't lose hope. I continuously ,making tries to make friends without any money and bad marks. Sometimes , I make friends finally but don't last like a day,that's my highest record.
I don't know, what was stopping from committing Suicide. But , i m enjoying my Alone life, somehow ? These kind of incidents in school reflected back at hometown. A bad attitude towards my younger brother. I m so shameful, now to beat my brother who is actually is my best friend. I cried a a lot times, still. I say to me "What was the mistake of him". And feel bad.
1. I had no friends to share my thoughts, if i try;everyone starts avoiding me.
2. I m completely failed my exams.
Now, I m in College .I have very different life. I have some friends. I got a lot of responsibilities being a CR(Class Representative) and great stuff to enjoy. Perhaps due to open environment at College campus and also i had changed my behaviour a lot. A old friend who seen my school and college life told me that , I changed completely what have been in past. I m living like a dream days. But as always my credit to being a happiest person goes to being the saddest. I m learning bunch of new things. Previously, I have been away from real world and was only observing the world in the control where people try to break rules and regular decisions made by Elders.
But as i entered in the College life , i have faced many challenges . I did't faced relationship problems but i faced :
1. Financial Problem : Heavy college Fee and transport fee. As my family belongs to economically weaker section.Therefore, i m unable to bear educational expenses.I fought back very hard and got a scholarship from university, still i m not able to complete the expense. My parents took loan to do so.
However, the problem was also exist in School but i m dumb to understand the problem, until i failed in 11th grade annual exam, the problem i faced in school times is majorarily:
2. Relationship Problems : I m not very social. Not at all. I m shy because if ; I make a topic ,Immediately session changed to debate against me by everyone. And i was bullied and hit badly after school with group of students(Obviously, because no one want to be bad against teachers). Even ,by a little student whose best friends are strong him to support him. So, i rarely talk to anyone known. I talk only, when i need some Note Books and projects to copy. I m very much talky with new people, because they don't know my bad names to say. They don't knows my bad and how i was bullied.
I was a target for all students in class, even for friends , i love to share things. So, i packed my self close to no one. Even not to parents. Sometimes , i share the worst part to MOM, it feels great.But no every truth and detail. I fear, she might tell the dad and dad will hit me back. And probably come to school and will make this matter loud to class teachers. Where as teachers are already hitting me for not doing home works and assignments. And fed up of my fights with all class. I was the center peace for everyone. Even if didn't make mistake, my all class stoop up to make teacher that I m criminal to Save their gang leader. It doesn't mean, I never protested. I do, but i receive no Justice. My English class In charge was so straight forward that settled matters with votes with students. It was clean defeat actually, no one is stood up for me. My heart was broken many times. I think , it was my first meet with Indian Political System. But, i don't know, there is always the things that make hopes for me. That powers my brain. I didn't lose hope. I continuously ,making tries to make friends without any money and bad marks. Sometimes , I make friends finally but don't last like a day,that's my highest record.
I don't know, what was stopping from committing Suicide. But , i m enjoying my Alone life, somehow ? These kind of incidents in school reflected back at hometown. A bad attitude towards my younger brother. I m so shameful, now to beat my brother who is actually is my best friend. I cried a a lot times, still. I say to me "What was the mistake of him". And feel bad.
